Listening and Discernment
We are often most motivated to listen for God when we have a decision looming, and God delights in hearts that are seeking to hear and obey His leading. He also desires to commune with us in the day to day, and the more we practice that, the more likely we are to be aligned with His heart when those bigger decisions come.
We hope that this resource will aid you in discerning God’s presence and voice in daily life as well as His leading in your decisions, big and small. We have put together some practical suggestions for how to do that, but first let’s remind ourselves of a few foundational truths.
“…whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Hebrews 11:6
If we desire to devote ourselves more to listening and discernment, it is important to begin by remembering that we are not listening for something (an answer, a sign, a direction) we are listening to Someone.
We are listening to the great “I AM” (Ex 3:14) who exists independently from us and who cannot be manipulated or controlled by us or by our actions. He interacts with us in His own time and in His own way. And yet He desires to make Himself known to us. John 1 describes Him as ‘the Word’, a name that implies that communicating is a part of His nature.
Acts 17:26-27 says He determines the timing and placement of each person’s life, “that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward Him and find Him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us.” He is present, near, wanting to be found.
What makes His nearness, His knowableness, good news? That He is love. Not just loving but love itself. “As high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him” (Psalm 103:11).
But we often find this difficult to believe. Not just to acknowledge mentally, but to embrace at the very core of our being. That God is love, and that He loves me. That if I listen to God, I will hear a voice of love. Not of anger, condemnation, aloofness, or indifference, but love. Not always saying what I want to hear, or always speaking in ways I notice or comprehend, but always there, and always there in love.
Assurance of God’s love provides the safe foundation from which we can bring our questions, hopes and desires to God for Him to speak into.
“So the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend...” (Ex 33:11)
“I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father.” (John 15:14)
Throughout Scripture, God communicates with His people as between friends. From Adam/Eve, Enoch and Moses to the prophets and disciples, we see God interacting relationally—especially with those to whom He commits in covenantal love. This communication can come in many forms: through dreams/visions, other people, a still small voice, nature, conscience.
The Scriptures are one of the primary ways God speaks, and the means God uses to transform our minds and hearts so we may discern what is from Him and what is not. As we read, His Spirit brings the Word to life, penetrating our hearts and teaching us what we need to know at the proper time (1 John 2:26-27; John 14:26). With the Scripture as our foundation for understanding God’s character and truth we begin to recognize when He speaks through that “still small voice” (1 Kings 19:11-13) or one of the other means mentioned above.
“.... but the LORD was not in the wind...but the LORD was not in the earthquake...but the LORD was not in the fire...there was the sound of a gentle whisper... Elijah heard it.” 1 Kings 19:11-13
Being open. The first step as we practice listening is simply to be open and ask God if there’s anything He wants to say. We can do this as we meditate on Scripture as well as through listening prayer.
We also want to practice being open with God in the sense of being honest with Him (as honest as we are able). It is so tempting to bring to God what we think He wants to hear, rather than what is truly in our hearts, but as we continue to ground ourselves in God’s unconditional love, we grow in our ability to come to Him with our true selves—the fears, selfishness, and pride, alongside the dreams, longings, and loves.
This in turn fosters greater open-handedness and surrender to any outcome so that when God speaks, we don’t dismiss it or filter it through our own expectations and desires. In spiritual formation terms, this kind of openness is often called ‘detachment’. Detachment can be described as “replacing the attachment to self-serving goals and agendas for success, money, power, ego, productivity and image with wholehearted attachment to and TRUST IN God alone.” (Paraphrased from Adele Calhoun’s Spiritual Disciplines Handbook)
Recognizing. God is a creative God and speaks to us in a variety of ways. Through a thought, impression, a repeated theme, an image, or a deep sense/feeling. As we read or worship, talk to someone on the street, take a nature walk, or play sports. We don’t always recognize it as God in the moment, which is why taking time for reflection both on our own and with others can be helpful.
It's also good to be patient. Learning to recognize that ‘still small voice’ doesn’t happen overnight, and we can’t coerce God to speak on our timeline. Jesus says that we will hear His voice and distinguish it from other voices (John 10), but as with other abilities and in other relationships, we grow through experience and practice under Christ's gentle tutelage (Matt 11:28-30).
In practicing paying attention for God’s voice, we take time to look at our life circumstances, God’s word, our own hearts and the words of others. Here are a few brief suggestions of how to do that. If you would like more ideas, or clarity on any of this, the Spiritual Life Team is happy to chat through a call or email ([email protected]).
- Listening prayer:
- Daily Examen:
- Consider Mark 8:34-35; Luke 12:15; Galatians 2:20
- Notice what attachments take priority over God. What values can be seen in how you spend your time or money? What fears are consistent in your life? What do you feel the need to protect? Name and confess your attachments to God and a close friend.
- Meditate on Psalm 25, 27, or 37.
- Have a letting go session. Try to be as honest with God and yourself as you can be. Sit with God and name and then let go of things like image management, the notion that things belong to you, confidence in your own abilities, the desire for the path of least resistance, or the need to be admired or respected.
- Recognize WHO God is concerning this decision. Is he provider, keeper, protector, leader...? When you recognize WHO He is concerning this decision, take some time to worship Him and rejoice in His identity. If this is who God is, who does that make YOU? Include this in your worship time as you listen and decide.
- Recognize the situation in which you first felt the need for discernment. Pause and think around how it came up and ask the Lord if there’s anything He’d like to point out or anything else that needs to be clear.
- Make sure the question you are trying to discern is as clear and straightforward as possible. This may mean breaking it down into several questions and seeking God on each one. What smaller decisions can be made with the Lord as you work towards a larger decision?
- Consider your ‘default’ perspective and experiment with trying a different perspective. For example – Instinct, Logic, Emotion – If you’re typically someone who brings your default sense of instinct to a discernment situation, consider trying to sit with God in your logic or emotion instead.
- Identify competing values and ask God to help you name one (maybe two) that you will prioritize in the decision process. Taking time with the Lord to identify competing values and asking which ones are important to Him may help streamline the discerning process.
What if you don’t ‘hear’ anything? Sometimes God gives us the freedom to choose between good options without clear leading one way or the other. He is bigger than any one decision we will make and able to continue interacting with us. Decide, move forward, and continue to listen.
A Discernment Process for Groups
This process can be used for individuals wanting to invite others to pray through a decision with them or for a group/team trying to make a decision together.
Who should be present? Of course, anyone directly involved in making the decision. It can sometimes be helpful to have people who are familiar with the situation or the person making the decision, but what is most important is to include people who are themselves practicing and growing in discernment.
We are listening for God in times of silence as well as in the words of others. This means paying attention for repetition or themes as well as giving and receiving all human input with open hands, to be taken back to the Lord for further discernment. We can apply some of the things from the ‘being open’ above as we interact with one another just as we apply it to interactions with God.
- Transition to being present: Prayer and meditative Scripture reading
- How are we coming to the group? Pray and release to God.
- Scripture to focus and meditate on (ex: Ps 25:1-10, Ps 103: 1-8, Col 1:9-14)
- State: Clearly state what is to be discerned
- Summarize the situation and identify the question we are bringing to God. If there are multiple questions, we pick one to focus on for this time.
- Share: One by one everyone states briefly their initial posture without comments from others. We hold what is shared before God in our hearts, uncritically, being present to both God and one another.
- Pray: We ask God for the ability to lay down any personal preferences and to be open/willing to hear and accept what He wants to share.
- Listening silence: Set a period of time to silently ask God what He thinks and listen for His response.
- Make sure the period of silence is long enough so that our heart can become still and attentive to God noticing any words, ideas, images, impressions, or verses He may bring.
- Close the time of silence with a brief prayer
- Share 2: One-by-one, we each share what, if anything, we sensed from God. Again, we listen uncritically and without comment, being present to God and one another.
- Brief silence
- Discussion: What do we sense now? What themes came up? How do they inform the question or issue at hand? How is that leading us in one direction or another?
- Conclusion: Summarize and give back to God what was heard. Either make a decision or plan when we will come back to continue the discernment process and what we will be praying about individually in the meantime.
-The Voice of Jesus by Gordon T. Smith
-The Discerning Life by Steve Macchia (or the related Podcast)
-Pursuing God’s Will Together by Ruth Haley Barton (or the related Podcast)
GEM’s spiritual life team is always available to talk one on one or to facilitate a discernment group. Our “Desiring the Will of God” retreat is specifically set up to go deeper on what it looks like to discern God’s presence and voice with us. You may contact us about any of these things at [email protected].