In the margin of my Bible, I found written “kingdom – the spiritual reign or authority of God.” I like to look up words as I read my Bible and I often write definitions. Seeing this definition made me think, “this must have been one of those times.” My way is to assume responsibility. If God is to reign in my heart, then I must pave the way for that to happen.
But then I read what Jesus has to say about the kingdom of God and the responsibility shifts from my shoulders to God’s shoulders.
Who sought whom? I ask myself. Before I was a believer, I did not seek God. Trouble came. It overwhelmed me. I couldn’t sleep. For several nights I had no sleep, and I was desperate. I pulled out what I thought was the most boring book on the planet to induce sleep. In those pages I found God.
For two years, I read that book. In that time, my heart was captured by Jesus. I entered a relationship with Him.
“A farmer scatters seed on the ground.” I opened the book. “The seed sprouts and grows, but he does not understand how it happens.” The words, the seeds, planted themselves, grew themselves. God was conversing with me even before I knew Him. Even today, the grain ripens. God’s reign and authority grow in my heart, in my life.
Today I impatiently beg for His will to become my will. But I have no power to make that happen. All I can do is seek to be close to Him. And, while I am living this life imperfectly, He is growing in my heart.
With others, I imperfectly get to share in scattering seed. He is always in charge of making that seed germinate and grow. The person who gave me that Bible, ten years before I opened it, was scattering the seed. Selah.